Nosuke Kuroki Blog

Ending

2011-01-02T04:12:00.000-08:00

Either you have know me for a long time; just stumble across here accidentally; or just want to know more about my past.

Enjoy reading this posts; this are the past of me and are describing a very different side of me. I am keeping this blog for memory purpose. My new blog have been move to the following link:

http://www.nosuke-sweetdays.blogspot.com

Feel free to read through my past.

心好痛

2010-07-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

我心情不好，不知道要做什么。我想，做什么也没用。我也不知道为什么。。。
我的心，又在被人打开了。我不想。。。乱给别人我的心，这一年半来，我从不
相对任何女生好。我就是喜欢单身。

不过在三个月前，不只为什么。。。和朋友出去玩时，也不知为什么。。。
我会不知不觉地走到她的身边。。。也应此认识了她。。。

我慢慢发现，这女孩开傻了，她过的生活一点也不开心。
我也渐渐的开始关心她。不过，我心里真得很想能够关心她一辈子。
不过我也爱她也深，我也知道这是不可能的事情。

也许我们的命运不因该相差，我和她是两个世界的人。这样也好吧。
我只能希望，她会找到一个好真心对待她的人，希望下一个她爱的人，
会好好照顾她，不要再让她伤心了。

我把最想对你说的每一句活,写在一张子飞机上,让冷风把它给带走. 我没爱过, 也没失恋过, 只是刚做了一场美丽的梦

Precious

2010-07-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

这是我第一次用华语打ｂｌｏｇ。有错字多多原谅！（︿＿︿）。

每人都有自己的墙，自己的世界。这两年来～我没有真心过去对任何人好，因为没有人值得我去珍惜。不过最近，我真得很想对一个人好，因问我觉得她是值得的。不过现在再我面前的，不是你的世界，是你给我的一道墙，是你对我的不理不睬。不论着道墙有多么高，我都愿意爬。我相信有那么一天，我爬的过，我会证明，我能好好照顾你的感觉，绝对不会再让任何人伤害你。

我相信那天的到来。。。

A year and a half later

2010-07-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

Have you ever watch those shows, that the actor decided to bury what they write underneath a tree, come back a year or two later to open and read what they have written back then and reminiscence about it? Time capsule, unknowingly I have one of it here; and when I read about what I have written a year back, memories came flooding back and tears flow down the cheeks and all over the keyboard.

A guy can give a girl everything, car, house, money, shelter. That is what a guy normally do when he love a girl, he love her with what he has, everything. However, both of them can feel unhappy; even if they love each other a lot, they cannot feel each other love and quarrel everyday. Another couple can have no money; the man is unable to provide her everything, and maybe the girl need to work really hard for the family. Yet, they can be living happily together and feel each other love and warm. They would not mind the tough life and are willing to face it together.

Why is it that when two people are together, they can love each other yet unable to feel each other love?

To a guy, loving a girl is loving her with his asset. A guy is a physical creature, he would think about their future and try to provide the girl with everything. shelter, money, car, everything that will make the girl life comfortable. He would think they space and freedom is important in relationship; therefore, as much as possible, he would try not interfere with the girl personal life, where she goes and what friend she hangs out with.He would hope that by leaving the girl alone, the girl would not miss him so much so that when something happens and he is no longer around, the girl would not feel hurt so much; and he would expect the same in return.

To a girl, loving a guy is caring him about his emotion. A girl is an emotional creature, she would constantly give the guy attention. She would constantly worry about the guy feelings, life and whatever he do. She would think that constant communication is important and as much as possible, she hopes to be there to be a listening ear to the guy when he has any trouble. She would want to give constant attention so that the guy would not feel hurt when the guy is not with her; and she would expect the same in return.

If they are unable to feel each other love, eventually they find there is a lot of differences between each other and leave each other eventually. Even if they love each other, even if they care for each other, they will end up hating and hurting each other eventually.

I do not want what people goes through what I have been through. I do not want to see my friends to be hurt. neither do I want to see a shadow of me in other people relationship. A few of my friends turn to me when they have problems, every time they concluded that I must have been in a good relationship after listening to me. Yet, I had remained single; I guess I annoyed people easily. However, for those people who is in love out there, this is what I want to say.

To guys. if you love a girl, give her constant attention. Call her frequently and take good care of her emotions, do not let her feel hurt. If she have any problems, just be patient and listen to her; even if you are unable to help in anything, just understand how she feels is good enough. If she is wants you to do something, do it for her because it is important to her.

To girls, spend a day to prepare a simple sandwich with effort, you would make him really happy, he would really appreciated what you have done. He may choose to do his own things at times, it is not because he doesn't love you as much as before. He just need break time to time constantly, give him some breathing space. He will come back to you eventually with surprises.

To singles, I would be very disappointed if you live your life for someone that is not worth it. Concentrate on the things you like and time will pass very quickly; before you knew it, you may have someone special giving you the constant attention you are looking for. Maybe the someone is right beside you now, watching over your secretly and hoping the best for your life.

110909

2009-09-11T11:56:00.001-07:00

A day that probably mean a lot of things to me, a lot more for this entire life. It probably a deep down memory mark. A mark that will never be forgotten. A transition between 2 life. Time fly so quickly and my body had ages for 2 years old. Somehow or rather, this days seems that it would never come 2 years ago, but it come eventually.

The footsteps leaves a trail that tell a history of a string of unwanted experince. Some even painful till that it extend to my heart directly. There is so many friends being make, yet at the same times, a number of friends have strain away from me, and begun their own independent life. Something that leave a tinge of disappointment thinking back everyone agree about having eternal friendship. Something that reailty have taken its toll.

All these values are being learnt are a little too late, or is it that we met too early? Letting you bear the immature side of me for 2 months had always left a sense of guilt that brings on till today. Yet its the very same things that change me, because you exist. And for this and that is why the all this changes of me is being made for you, making the person me now and the person you know a year back a difference, but probably that isnt something you would bother now.

October 26 2008, evening time at the basement of the central. Probably why would this uncessary time and space deserve a mention. Because its the place that something that would always be remember in my heart. Its the first day we met, and the day where the sweet memories began and build on. You seems quiet and shy as always, while the poor me had actually keep struggling to chain a string of jokes to make you smile. But it was this unique character that you have that makes me unforgetable. Something grip on to my heart deeply, and that is your sweet constant beam on your face, thats make me want to be the someone special to take care of you.

The someone special was'nt me, it is someone else down in your future. He is probably someone who is able to wait for you and fetch you home everday, ensuring that you would always reach home safety. he is someone who would bring you out everytime you are feeling down. He bought you mango dessert because he know you had not eaten that dessert your like for a long time. He would probably even bring out to futher places to see much more beautiful scenery. And most importantly, he would visit you when you fell sick.

Today sunset was beautiful, maybe it is because the day where I leave the service and there is a plan long ago for the particular day. But this plan is just now as empty as words. It sort of remind me of the sunset that we both watch. You never said anything that day, but deep down I know you really like that sunset. Hope you are still keeping that photo of the scenery that day. It didnt really nail into my mind how the scenery will, because there is still so many sunset at so many different place that I wish to watch with you. Yet so unexpectedly, that would be the last that we watch together.

110909
Goodbye SAF
Goodbye to you

A deep down dream

2009-08-14T04:51:00.000-07:00

Imagine a family with 2 children, a wife who is would wait eagerly at home for her husband to come home. The family of 4 lives happily and and fill the house with smiles, love and laughter.

Though they do not earn much, they will able to make end meet and have fun pinics and outing once in while, this kind of warthmness in the family is always what I sought for.

Back to 1 year ago, life was at bottom pit. The life routine of mine was in a deep mess and it was practically flooded with sailing and duty every weekends. It had totally burn my brain juices and the mood to go out had plunge to litterally zero.

I would have leave this wreck place with no regrets if I had not met her. She is only person that bring back my smiles on the face. There is so many commitment that I had made within myself. She is a girl so good that I would not find another girl like her in my entire life.

I could blame on circumstances, I rather blame it on myself. A bad twist of luck, the ship routine changes drastically and I soon find myself sailing almost every day. Limmited amount of rest day had turn me to an emotionless person that do not even wish to step out of the house.

At this point of time, not only I lose you, the sailing days pile up and those friends of mine slowly loses contact from me. Best friends maybe become good friends, to normal aquintances and maybe... even strangers. Reflecting back them, the selfishness in me had totally bring to a guilt level that cause me to broke out in tears, realising those mistakes only when it is too late and could only be fill with noting more left but regrets.

If there is a portal to go back in time, definitely I would. It is not to because I do not want to lose you. It is not because I want to prevent it from happening. But to make more beautiful memories with you and to cherish you...

Sometimes questions would fly through my mind, why would'nt I be kinder to you while you are around with me.

Today, finally leaving this place in a month, the blocked mind seems to clear up, learning many principle of life in the process and even begining to know the feeling of cherishing someone.

Maybe you had already left me, but still there is still so much indebtness that is owe to you, leaving things just like this is not my style. I wishes to take up this reposibility again, of someone being good to you. It does not matter to me you do not acknowledge me as a friend. Because all I want to do is simply, to wish you all the best in your life, studies, dreams and maybe even finding the love of your life.

Be it 9 months, 9 years or 9 decades, but doing this to see you smile for just 9 second, would worth it.

Take Care,
Utsuki.....

2009-08-13T05:11:00.000-07:00

www.gmxl.com

I cant believe he wish me happy birthday.....
I only read it now....

Thank you you this (insert vuglar) ah beng brother....

2 years already, so much things have change i cant believe I litterally cant use any vuglar language.

I really cant believe this GPA 1.94 ah bend ended studying in a university.

Good luck and enjoy studying, for me I believe I will take a different path....

Okaeri!!

2009-08-10T04:03:00.000-07:00

If you are here, please stay awhile to watch the youtube video on the right. Its a very nice show

English:
Welcome Home
-------------------------------------------------------
Performed by: ayaka
Lyricist: ayaka
Composer: Yoshihiko Nishio & ayaka
Translated by: crystalise
-------------------------------------------------------
On the way to my sweet home, I can already hear the words, “You’re home!”*
I am returning to the place that gave me the love that I am so thankful for.**

Blotting out my sadness and painting a smile on my face,
I pretend as if everything is alright.
I admit that although I can understand the importance of belief,
It is in the most critical of moments that I doubt myself.

And though this empty body of mine seems to
Almost float through the passage of time,
There is this feeling that always carries me forward:
The feeling of longing to hold you in my arms.

Before I could even say, “I’m home!” I could already hear, “You’re back!”***
Those very words are enough to cause my heart to brim over.****
Returning to my sweet home, I could already hear the words, “You’re home!”
I am returning to the place that blessed me with a love that I am forever grateful for:
My sweet home.

I truly believe that those
Who only keep their own interests at heart are characters of deceit;
But I also know that there are those
Who are desperately crying out for change.

Because of you, I have come to appreciate that
There is no such thing as an ordinary happiness in this world...
And it is this knowledge that continues to drive me forward.

Before I could even call out, “I’m home!” I can already hear, “You’re back!”
In this continued acceleration of everyday life...
I could hear the words, “You’re home!” echoing from my sweet home,
And therein lays a scene that remains eternally unchanging,
There in my sweet home.

Having searched and having lost,
There are emotional wounds that I have to face.
It was in the power of those simple words
That I drew my strength: the words, “You’re home.”

Already I can hear them say, “You’re back!” Before I could enter, “I’m home!”
Indeed, their words are more than enough to fill my heart over.
Returning to the sweetness of home, I can already hear, “You’re home!”
I’m heading back to the place where I owe my debt of gratitude for the love it bestowed upon me:
My sweet home.

I can already hear the words, “You’re home!” As I dream of replying, “I’m home!”
Everything is truly alright now because you are there.
On my way home, I could already hear the words, “You’re back!”
Wait for me, I’ll be soon arriving,
My sweet, sweet home.

Eternity

2009-08-09T19:59:00.000-07:00

The long-bygone days covered up the breaths that we drew
I shall sing now, for eternal sleep.
The wind stirs, carrying you to me
Your dazzling eyes that looked up at the sky, what's reflected through those doors now?
Beaten down by rain, my body scorched, (I believe peace and smile)

Surely our bodies will always remember being embraced?
How far do I have to walk?
How far do I have to run?
Until you grace me with your smile..

My singing voice drifts towards a peaceful time, guiding you to me
The rainbows that looked down upon our shadows, what's reflected within those spirals now?
Without hesitating, we surrendered my bodies. (I believe peace and smile)

With blood in our veins, do human destinies simply revolve around forever?
How far do I have to walk?
How far do I have to run?
Until you grace me with your smile..
Will the mark that erased our sin leave a scar and become another sin?
If we don't do anything and leave it this way, the scar that binds us will only grow
Surely our bodies will always remember being embraced?

Your fingertips have gone cold. Is this the end? Is this the end?
How far do I have to walk?
How far do I have to run?
Until I can hold you in my arms again..

Flash:B[L]ACK - SuF[F]oCAtIon

2009-07-20T06:29:00.000-07:00

Times seems to slow down when the end is near.
Every minute of suffering moves on, toturing the living corpse to its limits.
Pain does not seems to stop, because the memory would always exist.
Counting down as the clock ticks slowly....

The end is near.....

Chapter 13 - Flash:B[L]ACK

2009-07-18T11:01:00.000-07:00

Did I come here to this place because I dreamed it?
I'm a living corpse but I have no reason to live.

The wounded boy
VHS tape shows his intense expression of eyes
His wrists cut without an end
Despair carved in body
The days disgraced with negation
are heat haze of 13th month's 1st day

Ugly, you lived unsightly inside your broken dreams
Ugly, just like you were always opposing the forgery
Ugly, the worth of your live burns attached risk
Ugly, meaningless, inconvenient scapegoat

The appearence of lies, it pushes by no means
You're a liar, who can't show your true self
You're looking for a target,
it's neurosis in nonsense
Even the life was ridiculed
Dilemma and drugs crammed in wounds

Ugly, you sang unsightly inside your broken dreams
Ugly, just like you were always clinging to your pain
Ugly, because if you forget about the pain, you don't belong here anymore
Ugly, scapegoat struggling in obstructed view

--Fallen ideals overflow from drug case
Hope has crumbled down in nonsense
People hide their faces under umbrellas even though the rain stopped
I sing, because I won't forgive them--"

...For me right now
only the worst moments are gentle"

___________________________________________________

As the future peddle forwards, the past seems to haunt stronger with each day.
Consume by darkness, only pain and death could end everything....

Chapter 12 - Echoes of Memories

2009-05-29T06:20:00.001-07:00

HP inbox seems to be pile up, and before I knew it, the phone buzz me to delete some old sms.
Yes old, sms dated up to 6 months back.

I dig it out and read, as early as november 3rd. I begin to read my old sms. As I read on, I become more and more happy. I was feeling bliss.....

I read all the way until Jan 18, and once again, I feel so heart pain again....
I remember the last few smses, and particularly take note of one which says of how naughty I am to send such a blank sms, and promise to return 1 blank sms to me. That sms make me very happy.

I kept all the sms from you.... and cleared the rest.....
Now is may, after so long, I will thinking over it. Its because I really want to change, for a better person. Its all because of you, I change for you. And after all this month, I had improved, all just for you.....

I want to tell you, I am still concern....
Its had been a while since you blog, and its had been a while since I blog too. I just want to say, just let me know you are feeling fine.

3 more months, till I ord, and I promise, you the person that I wont forget on your birthday. I hope when the times come, I have something for you, and I hope you dont turn me down...

Take care

Chapter 11

2009-04-20T08:03:00.000-07:00

Recently Life is all about Dota with myself and Rambo with Kaze

Noting really much, dont really know what to play

I want to go out with someone...!
Watch Handsome Suit 17 again and X-Men
Anyone??

Random Message

2009-04-17T06:13:00.000-07:00

Interesting, USB hub man! Its hands and legs are meant for USB port... NICE!!

Chapter 11 - iv - LittleBigPlanet

2009-04-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

Post remove due to it taking up space in my blog =P

Chapter 11 - iii - Rebel Flag

2009-04-10T04:05:00.000-07:00

I am blogging from camp again!

Finally after 3 months, I had meet up with Kaze and wwe play rambo together.

Surprisingly, this is my first time to go till as far as stage 3....
We talk about future plans... he talk about him being enlisted in June into guards while I talk about my plans for growing my hair and bleaching it...

I am so excited, we will see how it does!
=)

Sunday maybe outing, see you guys!!

Annoucement

2009-04-07T06:13:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I may be arranging an outing soon!

This time I hope you all can come!!!

I am sorry I had been away from 3 months because I really had been sailing a lot till I had no mood to come out!!!=/

But this month the schedule is pretty good so I hope I would be able to meet you guys soon!!!

Chapter 11 - ii - Sword Of The 100 Truth

2009-04-07T05:55:00.000-07:00

100 truths

001. Real Name : Lionel
002. Nickname(s) : Nosuke
003. Age : 22 this year
004. Zodiac Sign : Cancer
005. Male or Female : Male.
006. Elementary : Peixin Primary School.
007. Middle School: Naval Base Secondary School.
008. High School : Nanyang Poly.
009. College School : -
010. Hair colour : black or Brown???.
011. Long or Short : DependS!!!.
012. Loud or Quiet : DependS!!!
013. Sweats or Jeans : Jeams.
014. Phone or Camera : Phone :D
015. Health Freak : nah,don’t think so.
016. Drink or Smoke : neither.
017. Do you have a crush on someone : XD.
018. Eat or Drink : BOTH!!! :D
019. Piercings : NONE.
020. Tattoos : NONE.
021. Social or Anti-Social: To a certain group of people
022. First Piercing : NEVER.
023. First Relationship : 2 July 2008.
024. First Best Friend : Cant remember
025. First Award : can’t remember liao.
026. First Kiss : 12 July 2008
027. First Pet : ......
028. First Big Vacation : NEVER
029. First Love at first sight: Dont tell you hehe.
030. First Big Birthday : 16 July 2008

Currently
049. Eating : nothing.
050. Drink : nothing.
051. Excitement Level : As usual.
052. I’m about to : Sleep and then wake up for duty
053. Listening to : METAL!!
054. Plan for today : DOING DUTY GOT WAD PLAN??!
055. Waiting for : Something which will never happen.
056. Energy Level : WTF IS THIS?? ENERGY FOR GUI PAI JI GONG?.
057. Thinking of someone: Someone that is not thinking of me
058. Want kids? : I LOVE KIDS!!
059. Want to get married?: If i have money!!
060. Careers in mind? : Yes, but it will nenver happen

Which is better in the boy/girl you like
068. Lips or Eyes? : Eyes! And Eyebrown
069. Romantic or Funny? : Actually I like her being a quiet person... Even if we dont talk I really like the way it is...
070. Shorter or Taller? : of cos taller.
071. Protective or Caring? : both :D
072. Romantic or Spontaneous? : both :D
073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms?: nice arms.
074. Sensitive or Loud? : Sensitive
075. Hook-up or Relationship? : Marriage!! LOL
076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? : trouble maker!!.

Have you ever
080. Lost glasses or contacts : yes ):
081. Ran away from home : nope.
082. Held a gun/knife for self defence: WTF this question reminds me of serving duty now
083. Killed somebody : no!
084. Broken someone’s heart : Hais I never hope to…
085. Been arrested : nope.
087. Cried when someone died : yea.

Do you believe in
089. Yourself : Yes
090. Miracles : Yes
091. Love at first sight: Yes
092. Heaven : Yes
093. Santa Claus : Yes.... Like real XD
094. Tooth Fairy : The hell?.
095. Kiss in the first date: =X?

Truthfully
097. Is there someone you would want to be with right now? : yeah.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you’re in life now? : Fucking Disappointed, especially with someone who promise me something... give me something and yet make me lose faith in it
099. Do you believe in God? : yes (:
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people: If people can read my blog I can laugh already, not even thinking about tagging other people

Chapter 11 - i - Endless Rain

2009-04-07T05:36:00.000-07:00

Its was all of a sudden
I remember talking to him about his future....
All his life, his dreams and what he wanted to study...

He was a promising man at his prime age of 20

And another moment, a news came to me....

He had met in an traffic accident, doctor had tried his best...
but he couldn't make it...

And there was the last time I saw him...
Even though I barely knew him for 1 month... there is still some impact with me...
After all we are the same crew mate once... There is still some memories being shared...

Life is unpredictable

Everyone have dreams... some of them may not even get to the chance to even dream it....

Chapter 11 - For Answer

2009-04-06T15:00:00.000-07:00

Armored Core - For Answer

In myth, god is force.
In war, force is god.

Everyone have feelings, yet some people choose to discard them.

Why do people hate.....?
Why do people cry.......?
And... Why do they love?

When in critical times, and fighting is your only choice left.... What are you fighting for then?

Who are you fighting for?

Chapter 11 - For Answer.....

In reality, there is dreams. In dreams, there is no reality.
Yet reality is the creation of dreams....

If I would fight, I would be fighting for you... You dreams....Your love.... Your feelings....

I would fight for you....

That would be my choice....
That would be my answer....

Chapter 11 - HairStyle Tutorial

2009-04-04T05:44:00.000-07:00

Some hairstyle tutorials by Eemeraude

Personally like the second 1

For those who interested =)

Chapter 10 - X - Detriot Metal City

2009-04-03T19:18:00.000-07:00

Finally, I got a chance to see Detriot Metal City

Seriously this is one the most fun comedy of the year...

In case you still dont have any idea

There story is at follows

Soichi Negishi moved to Tokyo to chase his dream of becoming a musician playing stylish, Swedish-style pop. Instead, he finds himself leading the death metal band Detroit Metal City, or DMC, as the costumed and grotesquely made-up “demon emperor” Johannes Krauser II. Although he hates the role and the things he has to do as a member of the band, he has a definite talent for it.

Somehow he bump into his colleage classmate that he fell in love with, the story kicks off and became intense when he tried to hide his identity about Krauser from her.

Its really a must watch !!! And do remember to stay till the end of credits...

Chapter 10 - ix

2009-04-01T05:59:00.000-07:00

9 pm in the night

And I just came back from sailing!!!!
Prehaps I should be more open about my life in navy...

Because I should really let people know what kind of routine I am facing so people will understand more why I have no time to go out with them

I want to have more time with my friends but I guess it isnt now.......

Okie I will blog more when I reach home and sleep!
I only sleep 4 hours for past 18 hours!!! Xiong AR!!!

Think will reach home around 11:30 pm this time =(

Chapter 10 - viii

2009-03-30T19:33:00.001-07:00

Apparently somebody had thought that he or she deserve that much attention
Look at your own sulky attitude, do you think a stranger like me would be that nice to you?

It just that its my principle to fufil all my promise....

It doesnt hurt me at all to be nice to you... afterall I have noting to lose....

Chapter 10 - vii -

2009-03-30T19:28:00.000-07:00

People do quarrel before....
But do we really have to be strangers all the times?

Even we quarrel we our parents at times....
Would you be willing to forgive me...
just this once?

Im just refering to kaze dropping by... and thanking for doing so...

Chapter 10 - vi - Orion Once Again

2009-03-29T15:04:00.000-07:00

Maybe... just 1 more time....

Chapter 10 - V - Season

2009-03-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

This place had ended up to be a sad place for me to where for my memories is being keep.....

All the best for you....

Chapter 10 - iv - Baptism

2009-03-15T21:57:00.000-07:00

Living a life feeling it is shitty is 1 thing
Living a life that it is shitty is another...

The positive side of me is declining everyday....

A lone soul walking on.... with an unfufiled promise...

I really hate breaking it....

Chapter 10 - iii - Tears

2009-03-14T04:15:00.000-07:00

I suffer a relapse today again, my mind went back to the first day, the very first day where I begin the journery which I promise myself to take care of her eternity.....

Today, I continue to hold on to this promise, but unable to fufil it....

There is this show call Detriot Metal City... something which makes me want to watch it, den all of sudden.
A glismpe of a sweet smile flash across my mine...

The girl which I told myself I wanted to take care of her for my life....

Yet....

If there is a day I would choose to go, it would be the first day we met each other.......

Chapter 10 - ii - Withered

2009-03-13T06:04:00.000-07:00

And so....
Shiro and Yuu, they had went for the path pre destined for them...

They disappear without even having a chance for a proper farewell.....

Some of my friends, had even chose the path of becoming a total stranger...

How weird to think that those promise for eternity...

Flashback had just went ahead of time and the same history unveiled in my eyes once again...

Chapter 10 - Departure

2009-03-09T18:32:00.001-07:00

It had been a year of so....

Things had changed so much.....

Everyone is beginning to go on their seperate ways...
So does me.....

The name Nosuke will soon fade away in everyone minds....
It shall no longer exist....

Chapter 10 ........ Departure

Rebirth Under The Chaos - Episode 5- No Eternity

2009-03-06T22:08:00.000-08:00

Found a Good Band that A good band has surface in 2008
and its sounds a lot similiar to DaizyStripper style!!

A&D - No Eternity
=D

2009-02-24T04:04:00.000-08:00

reccently, I havent been able to be at home or rather on outside tuas naval base...

In a month, about 5 full days I get to be at outside camp....
This mean I hardly had anytime to be with my family, friends and let alone loved one...

I begining to have no life, no wonder I cant be killed in Dota....

Oops, I accidentally share the secret of how to be very pro at a certain game =X

Rebirth Under The Chaos - Episode 3 - GoodBye

2009-02-23T23:46:00.000-08:00

I have always love this song...

In fact, I almost cried when i listen to it the first time....

It does invoke some thoughts within the mind, but its really really nice....

Probably a song I would like to play, or rather start learning to play...

2009-02-21T05:23:00.000-08:00

SAGA - TRUE SKY

For those who love sadie or dir en grey, this would most likely suit u

Rebirth Under The Chaos - Episode 2 - Yokohama Love Story

2009-02-12T16:25:00.000-08:00

Somehow, a stuck in the middle feeling...

I want to move on forward, yet every step I move, I kept looking back....

I cant move forward, I cant move backward, I hate this feeling...

A feeling that made me lost at times......

Yokohama Love Story....

2009-02-12T07:02:00.000-08:00

PRETTY!! YuKi and SHUN Costume is OMG

Rebirth Under The Chaos - Episode 1 - Shinsekai

2009-02-07T23:06:00.000-08:00

And so it seems to go downwards, with every passing moment....
How is life for me....

Where is the dreams that I once had reached out for?

2009-02-01T18:59:00.000-08:00

Akihabara Shounendan Dennou Romeo - Endless waltz [PV]
Nice Vocal, but I think disbanded. I wonder where the vocalist went to, think gonna read up on them...

2009-02-01T17:31:00.001-08:00

Visitlip - Alo[n]e

This is good also, PV remind me of ClearVeil Dropping SKy

2009-02-01T17:19:00.000-08:00

Ghost - RiNG [PV]

A rare Jrock Band

JuliaDoll - Eternity Another rare Jrock band, enjoy!!

Chapter 9 - Rebirth Under The Chaos

2009-02-01T03:05:00.000-08:00

I found a new band today!
JuliaDoll, its their eternity is freaking nice...

In the midst of chaos, a mind stands undaunted....
For his dreams, he shall sacrfice all it takes to fufill it....
Chapter 8 - Rebirth Under The Chaos....

An Unfinished Chapter - Wedding Cake

2009-01-30T07:26:00.000-08:00

Post 100!!

Today I came across a song
A song that made tears came out of my eye....
Maybe it because my mood recently....
I am not sure also...

But its a beautiful song by Eve that made me want to listen to it again and again....
I began to imagine the day, where 2 person walk onto the wedding aisle, and this song begen to play with the slideshow on the screen playing photos of the 2 couples being together....

I believe it would be very touching....
This song is Wedding Cake by Eve....

I wonder how would it be when such day come walking on the wedding aisle, with all the memories flashing back...

But I dont think that will happen to me...
I dont really know

"Part II" - Episode 4 - Ghost School

2009-01-26T23:13:00.000-08:00

I found 2 new bands today, Nemesis and Eve, they are really good!
Hope you like them....

------

Its all empty.....
Its all hollow.....
Call it spiritual.....

Next post is 100, I cant believe so fast it reach 100 already

"Part II" - Episode 3 - Beginning

2009-01-24T09:16:00.000-08:00

Everything seems to have went back the first day....
Is this an ending? Or is this a beginning?

"Part II" - Episode 2 - Cross Game

2009-01-23T01:47:00.000-08:00

Supposely I was going to have my wednesday off...

And I had planned up on really spending the days.... with someone...

Yet I was activated for sailing.... I had to pack my bags for Batam instead...

I ended up buying 2 clothes for CNY... 1 of them is a hoodie, and I always wanted to get 1....

CNY was coming, so happy CNY to all!!

"Part II" - Episode 1 - Dear

2009-01-20T06:12:00.000-08:00

Today, I just woke up from a dream...

A dream that maybe shouldnt exist for me....

Some of you may feel its a pity ....

Perhaps, everything that has a beginning really have an end.....

To me, the ending does not really matter....

I dont want to have it ended...

But I guess I will have leave this dream behind, and continue and reality

Chapter 8 - "Part II"

2009-01-19T08:31:00.000-08:00

1 dream faded...
May it be forgotten
Another dream build on

May you found your love
I do not have any more request, except your silent blessing

A place where dreams comes true...

Chapter 8 - "Part II"

Dreams And Promises - Episode 7 - ....

2009-01-19T03:47:00.001-08:00

A drumset....

Will I be able to play on it this wednesday? Or will I be activated for sailing....

Is it meant for me....?

Dreams And Promises - Episode 6 - Passion And Love

2009-01-07T06:36:00.000-08:00

With each passing day, I seems to feel that I am a step closer to it...

Its hard to define this 'it'....

Very little words could be used to describe this feeling....

I just hope this 'it' would be known as 'destiny'

Lets how see the chapter of life unfolds for me....

Dreams and Promises - Episode 5 - GoodBye 2008

2009-01-03T06:06:00.000-08:00

I guess more of less a lot of people from their blogs had blogged about 2008...
I had yet to really give up on it. Maybe I am still clinging on to it...

Lost some friends, I do not know whether it was good or bad to lost them, but definitely memories shall continue to linger every now and then.

From happy times like teaming up against the notorious fashion spreader of business gay, celebration of someone 18 birthday, catching down of beautiful scenery will not be forgotten.

Of course there is also broken times partifularly happened through june to september.. which a lot of complicated things happen.

Eventually just when I thought my life was going to remain broken, prehaps by luck... or something.... or just me? Life manage to pick up after october and I begin to move on....

One of my dream was fufiled by a pure chance of 'luck' this year. What can I do is only to cherish this luck...

The flag was rally once again, a flag of reincarnation.... And now I continue on my next phase of my dream, a dream to be on a stage...

The promise to play this drum on the stage is still on...

This will be my 2009 resolution... Dreams and Promises

Dreams and Promises - Episode 4 - Eclipse From The East

2009-01-02T07:28:00.000-08:00

An unexpected outcome...
A dream since to be closer with each step...
A promise that had yet to be fufiled...
A friendship that had been broken...
A tainted body that still be so mysterious...
I still hold on to a promise which I made 12 Jul...

Dreams And Promises - Episode 3 - Shiro

2009-01-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

As promise, I had rally a flag, a flag of reincarnation.

A lot of people stood by the flag than you think....

Yet.........

Dreams And Promises - Episode 2 - Devil and Ghost

2008-12-29T14:12:00.000-08:00

I had finally understood everything

There is aura revolving around a person that frighten off 'things' in the vicinity.
Whenever he and I went to certain place, he would be staying outside...

I had never figured this out back then.

He used to enter the place liked me......

But 'some things' in there are uncomfortable with his presence...

They cant chase him off, so a tool needs to be used to chase him off instead....

Therefore, someone had been sacrifice and hypnotise.....

I need to go to a temple.... to help a friend.....

A journey to a temple......

Dreams And Promises - Episode 1 - X marks the spot

2008-12-27T10:42:00.000-08:00

Some people had though I had jump into the current trend know as MIA lately.
I had plans, and it wasnt completed. I can only hope to see those plans succeded at the end.

I hope maybe I could have more people next time....

Last min rejection is not really very pleasant...

Chapter 7 - Dreams and Promises

2008-12-23T16:12:00.000-08:00

Had spoken to him over the phone last night...

It had been something which I wanted to do all along, yet it is so hard to accomplish it

Year 2009...

Will this dream comes true?

Will promises stay till the end?

Chapter 7 - Dreams and Promises

End Of ..... - Kurage Nagareboshi

2008-12-23T00:50:00.000-08:00

the midst of the cold winter....

2 different path crosses each other....

2 hearts...

keeping each other warmth....

2 hearts...

moving on together.....

End of ....... ..........

Chapter 6 - Episode 7 - Friends

2008-12-23T00:09:00.000-08:00

How ugly some people hearts are...

they keep quoting the term call "friends" in their mouth

yet such people had so many negative things to say about their so call "friends"

everyone have their negative character, yet if u someone u really consider as a friend, you would give acceptance, rather going around shooting off negative points about other character.

thest kind have so much negative points to point out to their friends, yet they just cant be bothered to see what wrong with their own attitude....

Seriously, you called someone a friend, you accept him, and his bad points...

Yet some people just took acceptance given from granted, and continue of shooting this kind of disgusted words from their big mouth to their so call friends who try to accept their personality

Chapter 6 - Episode 6 - Last Scene

2008-12-18T07:19:00.001-08:00

An ending for a game...

The very last scene....

Or rather a final conversation...

This is ending?

Maybe...

Something yet to be fufiled....

Chapter 6 - Episode 5 - Carry Dawn

2008-12-16T19:57:00.000-08:00

And so this is how the sea is going to treat me...

And so this is how the time is going to manage for me...

My heart not at here at all....

My heart is..... taken 44 days ago.....

9 months to destiny.... ???

Chapter 6 - Episode 4 - NIL

2008-12-12T18:42:00.000-08:00

Some big events are happening today....

interest with events seems to be drifting further away from me....

My body doesnt seems to react fondly to the ideas of attending such event..

In fact, I doubt I had even enjoy an event before....

So...

Why did I go to those even in the past?

Chapter 6 - Episode 3 - Jewel Within

2008-12-10T18:49:00.000-08:00

Words had been spoke about it,
yet some dreams still sound so far away.....

Walle, a movie which I had wish to watch all along, yet I had no one to watch it with when the movie came out.
Finally, I had a chance to watch it...
And it is really good, like the best movie of the year I had ever came across

It had a awesome storyline that top up the rating in my heart to 5/5

Thanks to Utsuki dear for the disc ^_^

Chapter 6 - Episode 2 - Element

2008-12-04T18:50:00.000-08:00

To invent something, it will take sometimes to come up with the final product of the invention

Somethings seems to be in progress right now, lets hope all the element fuse together and the end product of the fusion would be great.

1 month already.... hm, that is fast... we still have a lifetime of footsteps to walk on right?

Im tired too actually, but I am happy =)

Chapter 6 - Episode 1 - Invisible Path

2008-11-28T07:25:00.000-08:00

Everyone plan for the future,

Yet no one knows about the future....

A small step, that might lead to a greater path, or is it all just an illusion?

Would the man be disheartened and disappointed at the end?

Whatever the outcome, whatever the future, it is an important step taken at the present.....

Chapter 6 - Bloodline

2008-11-22T19:27:00.001-08:00

Long time ago, there was a little boy... He was shun by everyone like a plague...

Now the little boy have grown up... and he stand upon a path he had never seen before...

Is this destiny?

What will be the outcome?

Chapter 6 ..... Bloodlines....

Chapter 5 - Finale - Reality in the Sunrise

2008-11-15T17:18:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine seems to have find his own path... He had went MIA and he is most likely concerntrating on his own life... his own future....

Of all of my friends, I am really concern about this friend of mine the most. I am contetned to know he himself realise his own flaws though... I really wish that he would work on it. He really have a chance to turn out to be a good man in the future...

My life goes on another chapter....

Tommorow I am going to Indonesia, I doesnt seems to really look forward to the trip, for some reason....

I just hope next week come soon

There is no dreamland at all....

I had a sore throat, but I love it... The sore throat was sweet =P

Chapter 5 - Epidsode 7 - Dandelion

2008-11-10T23:31:00.000-08:00

DaizyStripper - Dandelion

I simply love how Kazami looks =X His drums skill is pretty amazing too...

Life seems to be greyscale at one point of time.... but its full of colors now...

I like people to tag me! be it whatever name you put =X

Chapter 5 - Episode 6 - Dozing Green

2008-11-07T06:26:00.000-08:00

Not many people really know how is my life now a days...

Lets hope when that time come, all those preparation would not go to waste....

Chapter 5 - Episode 5 - New Story

2008-11-07T04:33:00.000-08:00

A life that is a mix adventure, a mix drama...

Like a rock band game, I seems to drag into 1 of the main players unexpectedly...

Moving on to seek out those interesting places, and capturing memories into my mind....

Walking on the sandy beaches, leaving 2 pairs of foot prints behind....

Chapter 5 - Episode 4 - Wings

2008-11-02T21:32:00.000-08:00

This is not the first time people thanking that I had help them...

Everyone is my friend, and I am doing my part if I can...

But most importantly, the wings belong to each individual self. only if they are willing spreading their own wings, then they will be able to soar through the skies and see a new horizon...

Just like the scenerio of a thristy cat. I could only provide a bowl of water, but its up the cat to drink the water herself....

Yet, I see myself as a failure, I cant seems to save something ... or someone....

Chapter 5 - Episode 3 - Our Brilliant Days

2008-11-01T02:50:00.000-07:00

Today, someone added me back on friendster...

Losing a friend like him like losing a family member to me, a close kin....

I begin to think back, those days, we used to have, those brilliant days....

Sharing the same path once together
Having those dreams bonded as one
I had always hated myself that you turned out like this
Remember those days we been through
Our memorable days..... our brilliant days

What hurts me the most is not that I had lost a friend like you, its that your character seems to had been 'lost' from your body and there is noting I can do as a friend.

Will I ever see your character bonded with your body again? Will I ever see the same old friend that once share the same smile with me?

Remember those promises of moving on together, it had never been forgotten.

BTW,I am not emo, I am such a happy kid nowadays... I am wondering if I can be a fortunate guy though =X....

Chapter 5 - NIL - An Untold Story

2008-10-28T05:52:00.000-07:00

Finally, after a long holiday, 8 days MC and 2 days leave. What is deserve to be return shall be return....

A path that was being lay down needs to be completed, and shall be completed.

A stone that is never meant to be step....

11 more months to get back to life capsule

Chapter 5 - Episode 2 - Braving Flag

2008-10-28T00:50:00.000-07:00

I pause for a while, close my eyes and took a deep breath. A scenery came to my mind, its a scenery of a stage, a stage that was solely made for us.

Slowly, the voice of the crowd seems to revolve just around my ears, and I begin to smell the dust as my legs pedal on the drums.

A flag was leading us, a flag that could only be created through unique bonding....

How far will the braving flag lead us? How long can we stay united?

Chapter 5 - Episode 1 - 星空と君の手

2008-10-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

It started with a new friend, a brand new day with new feelings.
Dreams of getting everyone together and and eventually going to the stage one day to play seems to draw closer every single moment.

Will that day ever come?

It was a happy day, I begin to see a Sunrise In a Dreamland. Maybe the sunrise is only temporaily, or maybe I am in my own dreamland all along... Whatever it is, I just hope to be able to capture the shining moment one day....

End Of Chapter 4 - Reminiscence (July 19 - Oct 26)

2008-10-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

Life can say had been an excitement for me so far. It seems that I can consider my life to be broken into various chapters based on major happenings in my life. I had broken down the dates as follows (titles included )

Chapter 1 - Black Christmas (2007) to Feb 14 (2008) Friend or Foe?
Chapter 2 - Feb 15 to May 30 An Intentional Betrayal
Chapter 3 - Jun 01 to July 18 Complications
Chapter 4 - July19 to Oct 26 Reminiscence

I can only say that chapter 4 had a tough start, moving ahead with a lost heart and a confused mind. Nevertheless, the ending can be consider sweet. It ended with a nice birthday celebration, new brother and new friends. A long lost friend who ventured aimlessly away from us. New dreams and new hope. I still had an unfulfilled promise back then, and I really hope to be able to go up to the spotlight and complete this promise that I had given.

Chapter 5 starts tomorrow, I am really looking forwards to it. Lets hope it is a chapter that will be filled with fulfil ed dreams, hopes, new friendships and allies, and maybe a little dose of love...

2008-10-23T02:22:00.000-07:00

I do not know if anyone still visit this place.... or if this place still worth the visit...

Anyone who enjoy keyboard solo would enjoy Reminiscence by Nega....
It has a beautiful 5 mins keyboard solo that will touch your soul...

Do stay while here longer while you at this place if you like the songs....

LOL

2008-10-05T06:12:00.000-07:00

I didnt know there is this drawing all along posted on friendster till I suddenly came across it.

Anyway yesterday I went to mind cafe along with my bro and his gf, they wanted to find 1 more player to play this game call the theives of bagdad with them.

I do not know how to play and they had already played the game before. But eventually it ended up that I outsmart them and win the game haha XD

Think next time will go play munchkins at mind cafe.... A board game that fight stupid monster and level up.. lol

What happen to all the nice guy?

2008-10-04T00:45:00.000-07:00

A very interesting threads that caught my attention...

http://sgcafe.com/showthread.php?t=52896

that's why I would prefer to remain as a joker to make everyone happy... =)
Of course, I wont turn into a porn star 1 day.... even though my brain juice is at my arse at times...

Why do people die in ghost movie?

2008-10-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

Ghost movie, a type of flim that seems to make for the purpose of frightening people and give you the chill of it after watching it... had you start to notice a trend? Take a look at all common scences that happen in horrow movie.

A car travelling along the road will definitely end up having a BREAK DOWN. Then there would just nice to have an torn down house and the car owner would say "hey lets go there look to see if there is someone staying there, despite the house look being so torn down."
If you are lucky, you can even hear, "hey lets see if we can find a phone there:

They enter the room and the door was lock
"Hey lets split up and search for clues!"

Everytime when people are in trouble, handphone would definitely have no battery.

Without failed, there would definitely be a small boy running across the room.

After seeing a suspicious figure, they would say "hey who is there?" Lets goes and take a look.

When seeing a book with mysterious writing, "hey I dont know what is written in the book but lets us just read it out loud". "Yes and remember to read it out loud."

Inside a building, victims would everytime without phail, run up to the roof, despite the option of running down is always available.

After seeing a entity, some people would never run, they would scream and scream and scream even if they can run...

Remember to watch out for all these exclusive scene when watching horror movies next time... so that you could look forward to victim being killed
:P

2008-10-03T06:03:00.000-07:00

I cant seems to understand what is the point of people flooding the bulletin board for the friendster with topic like "I AM ONLINE I AM ONLINE COME CHAT WITH ME!"

Look, it is a common knowledge that friendster does not have such feature to state whether you are online or not, but that doesnt mean that the bulletin board can be turn into one. Prehaps such people brain juice had fallen to the area where your general waste departs from the body till that they forgotten that MSN or FACEBOOK exist.

Doing such meaningless stuff like flooding the tag board, I would suggest spending the time watching GAY porn... I am sure it would be more productive for especially for people who had all the brain store up in their ass....

stop flooding the bulletin board... even though I dont read it =P

OMG

2008-10-02T22:27:00.000-07:00

Syu playing the GT-10 !! 4 min guitar solo OMG....

SYU and SATOSHI playing a song together, crazy guitar solo eh!!

How I wish I can know guitarist like them XD

Blame Yourself

2008-09-17T01:14:00.000-07:00

I am spoilt with choices for song for my blog...

Hm... Anyway I had just came back from sea in the morning, and I am goig back by 2359...
LOL

*Spending the time dotaing away

Owari Naki, Konoshi

2008-09-15T01:35:00.000-07:00

I am so happy to be able to hear Yamato B sing in Japanese more often.
Yup, I had just gotten Galneryus new Album.

I am definitely enjoying every song of it.
And I am really hoping that I would be at Japan one day to watch them perform lives.

They had definitely inspire me till that I am going to form a band one day to be be as great as them. So all of you guys who read this, better train hard on your part as well.
We will definitely be able to become a great band someday. And I am definitely going to play my drums for you as I had put down my promise.

We may be facing a crck in our friendship now.
I am very sure that we will be able to fix the crack if we really work it together

I am going to reunite everyone, I am going to continue to show my endless concern for all of you.
I had realised how childish I am back then, but thank you for making me realising it, even though I am realising it only now....

Hope you would stay awhile to enjoy the song, at least stay till the chorus =)

CALL ME COMMS 1

2008-09-13T05:49:00.000-07:00

OJT, meaning On Job Training, is a phase of life every new crew on the ship had the go through. It has the word saikang over your head and everlasting work of saikang will be your word.
Today the flowers had bloom and I had left the title, I am being proudly appointed as COMMS 1 and the word saikang go further and further away as the day passes by.
I begin to enjoy off and no longer need to work 17 hours a day out at sea. [In fact, all I do is sleep =)]

I still need to sail on weekend ocassionally though, this means I wont be physically there as a friend most of the time. But, I would definitely continue to show my care and concern for all of you. If you try to feel my heart, it is still beating as it is since 2 months ago.

I do not need to be anyone BF in order to love anyone? =) That is one very important point I had not miss out all along, that I would still continue to love, unless I become highly THAI influence , but that would only happen to some monster, not me=X

2008-09-08T02:19:00.000-07:00

I was watching this

at the end. she said 如果你不是周杰伦那该有都好

2008-09-07T00:27:00.000-07:00

It seems that something people had manage to confuse me with the gender group they belong to.
After appearing and making people puke in by taking up the shape of various form and appearing mysterious in unexpected area.
Someone had manage to make me wonder what is the gender of the group it belong to.
There is one thing that is definitely true though, this person is not highly Japanese influenece, but highly Thailand influenece though =X

2008-09-02T23:46:00.000-07:00

Today is someone big day...

Hope all the best turn out good for her...

and definitely you have my wishes...

dont worry you will have the chance to see my porn star quality face again...

All the best for you =X

....

2008-08-31T23:50:00.000-07:00

Today some feeling seems to have choke up my heart...

Do all of you know, no matter how far you fly, how far you go, you never be hated? You will never be block?

Yes sometiumes people see things differently, but no matter how big the difference we see things, we as friends of each other, should never hate each other rite?

There is this part im playing by simply not hating anyone, no matter what happen, who went wrong and such. Hating and getting angry is ultimately not the path you will see my taking. because it would letting myself down and everyone down....

Very Funny

2008-08-20T08:14:00.000-07:00

A sat that was finally mine that bloom once since last month was blown away.
A very sudden news came to me and apparently you will see me in habour again this saturday.

Outing had to be cancel.......

3 more weeks to go...
21 more days to survive...

2008-08-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

Everytime you took an MRT and manage to find a seat.
Definitely there will be this kind of joker who do not know how to close their legs when they seat down.
They would open their leg as wide as possible and try to occupy the space of yours.

What the hell is this kind of ppl thinking? Had they simply gone mad watching too much AV porns at home until they only know how to open their leg wide? Or maybe they are self-proclaiming to the world that their BALLS is too big and PENIS is too fat to even be able to close their legs?

Start training up your leg muscles today, you would need it to find against your tiny MRT seats....

2008-08-18T01:02:00.000-07:00

All of you msut have really been worried about me and thought that my feelings are pretty down.

You all are very very wrong, this crying moments of mine are just process of growing up.

You will see me turn into a great man one day.

And You will see the heart emerge to be an unselfish heart of gold that would show utmost care and concern for the next girl that desereve it.

The concern came from all of you are really welcome, you all should have more faith in my emotion management mah.

Be it harsh words from you guys that say that Im childish, or concern, you all will be thank from the deepest from my heart. Because your intentions to let me grow is always being felt.

You dont have be worried about me! =)

One day everyone meet up and have fun okay?

BTW just had Galneryus Shining Moment Single! OMG!!

2008-08-16T22:38:00.000-07:00

Am looking for shining moments by galneryus.
Whoever have it, hope you can get it for me =P.

You can make me fly to mars lol....

Shining Moments / Reincarnation

2008-08-14T06:31:00.000-07:00

Now its seems that life for me is undergoing a phase that can be describe as the lowest peak of my life. Bad news of friends leaving me, love one gone and even something drastic had happen at home till it cannot be shared here.

Concern readers do not need to be worry about me, I had taken a new look on life and prepare to accept whatever difficulty being thrown at me. Difficulties in my life are merely to be view as an learning experince.

The higher you climb, the harder you fall. The same goes in the opposite way. Yes, life may be at the bottom for me now, but my mind had new direction, and its had been telling me that one day I will rise higher than before, and cherish friends and loved one even more.

Prehaps you can say that this is The Awakening, problems in my mind had begun to be view in a different way. Stress and toughness of the life slowly becoming the drive of my mind to move on my life.

After this phase, maybe you would see a Reincarnation of me, but as for now, the lowest point of my life are my Shining Moments

Galneryus - Shining Moment (30 Jul 2008)
Galneryus - Reincarnation (10 Sep 2008)

FEB 16

2008-08-13T21:09:00.000-07:00

Pick a date from the list of the calendar, and it would definitely FEB 16.
You would be wondering why such a date would be choosen, because there would be definitely other happier time in my life.

Remember those days where everyone run around freely, banging into things and piggy back each other like no worries at all on anyone mind. Even if the 200lbs zombie will to be in the way, she would definitely earn herself a trip to japan to see Sakura Flower because Nosuke and Masu would be charging and banging everyone out of the way.

Everything little thing from down cutting the cakes, to knowing new friends and a warmth family dinner as a gift that could never be replaced still etched on to my mind. The date is choosen because its the only day everyone is happy, and you would not see a single sadness on anyone mind.

However, time had passed and thinking had changed. People had grown up and everyone beging to have their own life to lead. Prehaps it is time to let things go and wish the best for everyone. New dreams comes by while the older ones begin to fade away with time.

Always cherish those precious memories that had given to you, those lesson learnt and use it to move on. All those that is being cherish would definitely not spend your bday alone, it would be meaningful one. Some of you may end up forgetting the such a person being so nice to you at one point of time one day. But its okay, because when you had forgotten about the past its because you had finally found someone to move on with in your life......

You had my blessing,maybe you would also give me yours when someone better came by my life in the future...

Specialist

2008-08-02T21:50:00.000-07:00

Imagine a life of emptying the rubbish bin up to 6 times a day, went to the ever stinking rubbsih chute and dumping the rubbish. You are being order to do whichever kind of job they can think off, from ordering food for everyone like maria to running from place to place to collect things.
And this does not including you to puke everyday and miss your fmaily and the one u care for when you set sail.

Pause a while here thinking before you read on, and maybe you would be able to feel the minimum I am feeling.

It seems that the organisation manage to get hold of information of my background, and this is why they are doing this to me. They are sending me to do everything that a bangala should do. In fact, it an average forgien worker even have more family time than me and they seems to live better than me.

Yes, I know people are already calling me bangala, and now they are sending me to do what a bangala should do? The only one thing that is still saving me from mutating completely is the color of my skin which is soon to be turn black at the end of august....

You wont believe, but you really cannot imagine there is such a role in the organisation im am in. Bangala Specialist? Next time if you see me on the street, you have a new name to call me.

2008-07-31T06:24:00.000-07:00

I work 17 hours a day and have 7 hours of rest.... I had a lot of thoughts on my life.... shall share it verbally when I have the time...

I wish you recover soon!!

2008-07-26T05:30:00.000-07:00

The air around us are simply missing something. The NNB CB WTFark words from you.

So be sure that you get well soon and join us okay?

Its okay you like to be white but please dont be as white as my blogskin... that is equal to you, not feeling well.

Dont be as black as me also, black like bangala!!

Take cares and wish you to become a healthy pang sai soon!!!

Wishing you as a good friend....

New Life?

2008-07-25T17:19:00.001-07:00

I take a look at next month schedule. I was disheartened by it, I had 2 Sundays lost to Sunday sailings, and 2 Saturday lost to duty.

Life had given me a new challenge once again, I had a lot of new things to learn a lot of stresses from the higher end. Luckily, they are happy with my performance and therefore I barely escape a 2 weeks confinement. I am afraid I would do something wrong and got rewarded with more confinement and eat away more of my weekends.

I am just contented to see people around me happy. And I hope ~~you~~ they stay happy, but one day if any of my friend fell down and got hurt again, be sure to come and look for me, because I still had a secret manual call 1001 ban gala's way of making people happy, which I had not use it yet!!

I take a look at next month schedule again. I was disheartened by it, and moving on with 2 scars on my heart....

An Old Friend

2008-07-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

Last saturday, I happen to chance upon an old friend. It had been like ages that I had seen him and it suddenly remind me of those good old days where we have fun together without much worries. Chatting about big plans about our future and how are we going to expand the group etc.

First of all, I must really thank the domo kun it gives me. That domo kun had a vibrator function that can be used for various parts of the body (heh heh). It had a very sensational feeling when you place it on the particular place you wanted to feel good about. Ahhhhh....

Even though it just a casual statement, he does remember it though, that's what it touches me.... I tried to catch up the old time with him. However, he seems to be a change man this time, and I respected him for that. Today, he was talking much lesser, and he works hard for himself, and I am contented enough to see him that. He was even asking me how is the taste of the herbal soup he make, I was pretty shocking that he manage to pick himself up eventually after so many unseen blow hit his life so hard.

I think I still owed you an apology of that day... because I am one of the main reason that causes you to have an emotional break down. In fact, I felt very useless on that day, I was like unable to do anything for you. But I was glad that my brother went to talk to you and really learnt something from him, and learn that succide is not the only way out at that time. Because all of us wanted to see you move on.

Even though you stop being with us anymore, I believe you would become and incredible man one day. Someone who would take care of his family, children and closed one.
Even though you choose to leave us, I still must thank you on feb 16... that particular day where every just met. And in the future, whenever there is any feb 16, you would see me at alice 88th whenever I can.... I celebrate all you future birthday for you. Because we are best friends.... forever

Tml is the day I will be posted to my ship, I was wondering how kind of life would I lead this 2 months. You guys wont be seeing me as much as usual. I hope that after the 2 months I can saw a rainbow of hope.... smiling at me and cheering me up.... The minimum thing now, is I hope I can see you guy tag me and wish me luck for the next 2 months, I doubt I had the chance to read it though, but I would be able to felt it in my heart if our heart are link. Thank you all for the fun, the love and all the times you guys had given....

You wont be able to see me say goodbye today, because I would come back one day.... As a different person.... As I promise to change myself.....

Virus Alert

2008-07-13T19:11:00.000-07:00

I keep seeing the same old re-enactment of the same thing that keep happening to the ones around me. I do not know where is the direction is this sickening world changing to, and it seems that my friends had been victimise in the same way over and over again.

Beware, a new virus is on the loose, by the code name Dir En Grey which had been presume to be evolved from the old virus code name Beautiful Mountain. The victim being affected by this virus, would not know that they are actually affected by it and the one suffering would usually be the one they like.

The cure of this virus is actually simple, self awareness of what you are doing. Unfortunately, some of the people does not seems to have any cure. And I continue see my friends being affected traumatically.