110909

A day that probably mean a lot of things to me, a lot more for this entire life. It probably a deep down memory mark. A mark that will never be forgotten. A transition between 2 life. Time fly so quickly and my body had ages for 2 years old. Somehow or rather, this days seems that it would never come 2 years ago, but it come eventually.

The footsteps leaves a trail that tell a history of a string of unwanted experince. Some even painful till that it extend to my heart directly. There is so many friends being make, yet at the same times, a number of friends have strain away from me, and begun their own independent life. Something that leave a tinge of disappointment thinking back everyone agree about having eternal friendship. Something that reailty have taken its toll.

All these values are being learnt are a little too late, or is it that we met too early? Letting you bear the immature side of me for 2 months had always left a sense of guilt that brings on till today. Yet its the very same things that change me, because you exist. And for this and that is why the all this changes of me is being made for you, making the person me now and the person you know a year back a difference, but probably that isnt something you would bother now.

October 26 2008, evening time at the basement of the central. Probably why would this uncessary time and space deserve a mention. Because its the place that something that would always be remember in my heart. Its the first day we met, and the day where the sweet memories began and build on. You seems quiet and shy as always, while the poor me had actually keep struggling to chain a string of jokes to make you smile. But it was this unique character that you have that makes me unforgetable. Something grip on to my heart deeply, and that is your sweet constant beam on your face, thats make me want to be the someone special to take care of you.

The someone special was'nt me, it is someone else down in your future. He is probably someone who is able to wait for you and fetch you home everday, ensuring that you would always reach home safety. he is someone who would bring you out everytime you are feeling down. He bought you mango dessert because he know you had not eaten that dessert your like for a long time. He would probably even bring out to futher places to see much more beautiful scenery. And most importantly, he would visit you when you fell sick.

Today sunset was beautiful, maybe it is because the day where I leave the service and there is a plan long ago for the particular day. But this plan is just now as empty as words. It sort of remind me of the sunset that we both watch. You never said anything that day, but deep down I know you really like that sunset. Hope you are still keeping that photo of the scenery that day. It didnt really nail into my mind how the scenery will, because there is still so many sunset at so many different place that I wish to watch with you. Yet so unexpectedly, that would be the last that we watch together.

110909
Goodbye SAF
Goodbye to you

A deep down dream

Imagine a family with 2 children, a wife who is would wait eagerly at home for her husband to come home. The family of 4 lives happily and and fill the house with smiles, love and laughter.

Though they do not earn much, they will able to make end meet and have fun pinics and outing once in while, this kind of warthmness in the family is always what I sought for.

Back to 1 year ago, life was at bottom pit. The life routine of mine was in a deep mess and it was practically flooded with sailing and duty every weekends. It had totally burn my brain juices and the mood to go out had plunge to litterally zero.

I would have leave this wreck place with no regrets if I had not met her. She is only person that bring back my smiles on the face. There is so many commitment that I had made within myself. She is a girl so good that I would not find another girl like her in my entire life.

I could blame on circumstances, I rather blame it on myself. A bad twist of luck, the ship routine changes drastically and I soon find myself sailing almost every day. Limmited amount of rest day had turn me to an emotionless person that do not even wish to step out of the house.

At this point of time, not only I lose you, the sailing days pile up and those friends of mine slowly loses contact from me. Best friends maybe become good friends, to normal aquintances and maybe... even strangers. Reflecting back them, the selfishness in me had totally bring to a guilt level that cause me to broke out in tears, realising those mistakes only when it is too late and could only be fill with noting more left but regrets.

If there is a portal to go back in time, definitely I would. It is not to because I do not want to lose you. It is not because I want to prevent it from happening. But to make more beautiful memories with you and to cherish you...

Sometimes questions would fly through my mind, why would'nt I be kinder to you while you are around with me.

Today, finally leaving this place in a month, the blocked mind seems to clear up, learning many principle of life in the process and even begining to know the feeling of cherishing someone.

Maybe you had already left me, but still there is still so much indebtness that is owe to you, leaving things just like this is not my style. I wishes to take up this reposibility again, of someone being good to you. It does not matter to me you do not acknowledge me as a friend. Because all I want to do is simply, to wish you all the best in your life, studies, dreams and maybe even finding the love of your life.

Be it 9 months, 9 years or 9 decades, but doing this to see you smile for just 9 second, would worth it.

Take Care,
Utsuki.....

Below blog had been change to
http://callme6times.blogspot.com/
I would be updating from there more often

www.gmxl.com

I cant believe he wish me happy birthday.....
I only read it now....

Thank you you this (insert vuglar) ah beng brother....

2 years already, so much things have change i cant believe I litterally cant use any vuglar language.

I really cant believe this GPA 1.94 ah bend ended studying in a university.

Good luck and enjoy studying, for me I believe I will take a different path....

Okaeri!!

If you are here, please stay awhile to watch the youtube video on the right. Its a very nice show

English:
Welcome Home
-------------------------------------------------------
Performed by: ayaka
Lyricist: ayaka
Composer: Yoshihiko Nishio & ayaka
Translated by: crystalise
-------------------------------------------------------
On the way to my sweet home, I can already hear the words, “You’re home!”*
I am returning to the place that gave me the love that I am so thankful for.**

Blotting out my sadness and painting a smile on my face,
I pretend as if everything is alright.
I admit that although I can understand the importance of belief,
It is in the most critical of moments that I doubt myself.

And though this empty body of mine seems to
Almost float through the passage of time,
There is this feeling that always carries me forward:
The feeling of longing to hold you in my arms.

Before I could even say, “I’m home!” I could already hear, “You’re back!”***
Those very words are enough to cause my heart to brim over.****
Returning to my sweet home, I could already hear the words, “You’re home!”
I am returning to the place that blessed me with a love that I am forever grateful for:
My sweet home.

I truly believe that those
Who only keep their own interests at heart are characters of deceit;
But I also know that there are those
Who are desperately crying out for change.

Because of you, I have come to appreciate that
There is no such thing as an ordinary happiness in this world...
And it is this knowledge that continues to drive me forward.

Before I could even call out, “I’m home!” I can already hear, “You’re back!”
In this continued acceleration of everyday life...
I could hear the words, “You’re home!” echoing from my sweet home,
And therein lays a scene that remains eternally unchanging,
There in my sweet home.

Having searched and having lost,
There are emotional wounds that I have to face.
It was in the power of those simple words
That I drew my strength: the words, “You’re home.”

Already I can hear them say, “You’re back!” Before I could enter, “I’m home!”
Indeed, their words are more than enough to fill my heart over.
Returning to the sweetness of home, I can already hear, “You’re home!”
I’m heading back to the place where I owe my debt of gratitude for the love it bestowed upon me:
My sweet home.

I can already hear the words, “You’re home!” As I dream of replying, “I’m home!”
Everything is truly alright now because you are there.
On my way home, I could already hear the words, “You’re back!”
Wait for me, I’ll be soon arriving,
My sweet, sweet home.

Eternity

The long-bygone days covered up the breaths that we drew
I shall sing now, for eternal sleep.
The wind stirs, carrying you to me
Your dazzling eyes that looked up at the sky, what's reflected through those doors now?
Beaten down by rain, my body scorched, (I believe peace and smile)

Surely our bodies will always remember being embraced?
How far do I have to walk?
How far do I have to run?
Until you grace me with your smile..

My singing voice drifts towards a peaceful time, guiding you to me
The rainbows that looked down upon our shadows, what's reflected within those spirals now?
Without hesitating, we surrendered my bodies. (I believe peace and smile)

With blood in our veins, do human destinies simply revolve around forever?
How far do I have to walk?
How far do I have to run?
Until you grace me with your smile..
Will the mark that erased our sin leave a scar and become another sin?
If we don't do anything and leave it this way, the scar that binds us will only grow
Surely our bodies will always remember being embraced?

Your fingertips have gone cold. Is this the end? Is this the end?
How far do I have to walk?
How far do I have to run?
Until I can hold you in my arms again..

Flash:B[L]ACK - SuF[F]oCAtIon

Times seems to slow down when the end is near.
Every minute of suffering moves on, toturing the living corpse to its limits.
Pain does not seems to stop, because the memory would always exist.
Counting down as the clock ticks slowly....


The end is near.....