Either you have know me for a long time; just stumble across here accidentally; or just want to know more about my past.
Enjoy reading this posts; this are the past of me and are describing a very different side of me. I am keeping this blog for memory purpose. My new blog have been move to the following link:
http://www.nosuke-sweetdays.blogspot.com
Feel free to read through my past.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Thursday, July 29, 2010
心好痛
我心情不好，不知道要做什么。我想，做什么也没用。我也不知道为什么。。。
我的心，又在被人打开了。我不想。。。乱给别人我的心，这一年半来，我从不
相对任何女生好。我就是喜欢单身。
不过在三个月前，不只为什么。。。和朋友出去玩时，也不知为什么。。。
我会不知不觉地走到她的身边。。。也应此认识了她。。。
我慢慢发现，这女孩开傻了，她过的生活一点也不开心。
我也渐渐的开始关心她。不过，我心里真得很想能够关心她一辈子。
不过我也爱她也深，我也知道这是不可能的事情。
也许我们的命运不因该相差，我和她是两个世界的人。这样也好吧。
我只能希望，她会找到一个好真心对待她的人，希望下一个她爱的人，
会好好照顾她，不要再让她伤心了。
我把最想对你说的每一句活,写在一张子飞机上,让冷风把它给带走. 我没爱过, 也没失恋过, 只是刚做了一场美丽的梦
我的心，又在被人打开了。我不想。。。乱给别人我的心，这一年半来，我从不
相对任何女生好。我就是喜欢单身。
不过在三个月前，不只为什么。。。和朋友出去玩时，也不知为什么。。。
我会不知不觉地走到她的身边。。。也应此认识了她。。。
我慢慢发现，这女孩开傻了，她过的生活一点也不开心。
我也渐渐的开始关心她。不过，我心里真得很想能够关心她一辈子。
不过我也爱她也深，我也知道这是不可能的事情。
也许我们的命运不因该相差，我和她是两个世界的人。这样也好吧。
我只能希望，她会找到一个好真心对待她的人，希望下一个她爱的人，
会好好照顾她，不要再让她伤心了。
我把最想对你说的每一句活,写在一张子飞机上,让冷风把它给带走. 我没爱过, 也没失恋过, 只是刚做了一场美丽的梦
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Precious
这是我第一次用华语打ｂｌｏｇ。有错字多多原谅！（︿＿︿）。
每人都有自己的墙，自己的世界。这两年来～我没有真心过去对任何人好，因为没有人值得我去珍惜。不过最近，我真得很想对一个人好，因问我觉得她是值得的。不过现在再我面前的，不是你的世界，是你给我的一道墙，是你对我的不理不睬。不论着道墙有多么高，我都愿意爬。我相信有那么一天，我爬的过，我会证明，我能好好照顾你的感觉，绝对不会再让任何人伤害你。
我相信那天的到来。。。
Saturday, July 3, 2010
A year and a half later
Have you ever watch those shows, that the actor decided to bury what they write underneath a tree, come back a year or two later to open and read what they have written back then and reminiscence about it? Time capsule, unknowingly I have one of it here; and when I read about what I have written a year back, memories came flooding back and tears flow down the cheeks and all over the keyboard.
A guy can give a girl everything, car, house, money, shelter. That is what a guy normally do when he love a girl, he love her with what he has, everything. However, both of them can feel unhappy; even if they love each other a lot, they cannot feel each other love and quarrel everyday. Another couple can have no money; the man is unable to provide her everything, and maybe the girl need to work really hard for the family. Yet, they can be living happily together and feel each other love and warm. They would not mind the tough life and are willing to face it together.
Why is it that when two people are together, they can love each other yet unable to feel each other love?
To a guy, loving a girl is loving her with his asset. A guy is a physical creature, he would think about their future and try to provide the girl with everything. shelter, money, car, everything that will make the girl life comfortable. He would think they space and freedom is important in relationship; therefore, as much as possible, he would try not interfere with the girl personal life, where she goes and what friend she hangs out with.He would hope that by leaving the girl alone, the girl would not miss him so much so that when something happens and he is no longer around, the girl would not feel hurt so much; and he would expect the same in return.
To a girl, loving a guy is caring him about his emotion. A girl is an emotional creature, she would constantly give the guy attention. She would constantly worry about the guy feelings, life and whatever he do. She would think that constant communication is important and as much as possible, she hopes to be there to be a listening ear to the guy when he has any trouble. She would want to give constant attention so that the guy would not feel hurt when the guy is not with her; and she would expect the same in return.
If they are unable to feel each other love, eventually they find there is a lot of differences between each other and leave each other eventually. Even if they love each other, even if they care for each other, they will end up hating and hurting each other eventually.
I do not want what people goes through what I have been through. I do not want to see my friends to be hurt. neither do I want to see a shadow of me in other people relationship. A few of my friends turn to me when they have problems, every time they concluded that I must have been in a good relationship after listening to me. Yet, I had remained single; I guess I annoyed people easily. However, for those people who is in love out there, this is what I want to say.
To guys. if you love a girl, give her constant attention. Call her frequently and take good care of her emotions, do not let her feel hurt. If she have any problems, just be patient and listen to her; even if you are unable to help in anything, just understand how she feels is good enough. If she is wants you to do something, do it for her because it is important to her.
To girls, spend a day to prepare a simple sandwich with effort, you would make him really happy, he would really appreciated what you have done. He may choose to do his own things at times, it is not because he doesn't love you as much as before. He just need break time to time constantly, give him some breathing space. He will come back to you eventually with surprises.
To singles, I would be very disappointed if you live your life for someone that is not worth it. Concentrate on the things you like and time will pass very quickly; before you knew it, you may have someone special giving you the constant attention you are looking for. Maybe the someone is right beside you now, watching over your secretly and hoping the best for your life.
A guy can give a girl everything, car, house, money, shelter. That is what a guy normally do when he love a girl, he love her with what he has, everything. However, both of them can feel unhappy; even if they love each other a lot, they cannot feel each other love and quarrel everyday. Another couple can have no money; the man is unable to provide her everything, and maybe the girl need to work really hard for the family. Yet, they can be living happily together and feel each other love and warm. They would not mind the tough life and are willing to face it together.
Why is it that when two people are together, they can love each other yet unable to feel each other love?
To a guy, loving a girl is loving her with his asset. A guy is a physical creature, he would think about their future and try to provide the girl with everything. shelter, money, car, everything that will make the girl life comfortable. He would think they space and freedom is important in relationship; therefore, as much as possible, he would try not interfere with the girl personal life, where she goes and what friend she hangs out with.He would hope that by leaving the girl alone, the girl would not miss him so much so that when something happens and he is no longer around, the girl would not feel hurt so much; and he would expect the same in return.
To a girl, loving a guy is caring him about his emotion. A girl is an emotional creature, she would constantly give the guy attention. She would constantly worry about the guy feelings, life and whatever he do. She would think that constant communication is important and as much as possible, she hopes to be there to be a listening ear to the guy when he has any trouble. She would want to give constant attention so that the guy would not feel hurt when the guy is not with her; and she would expect the same in return.
If they are unable to feel each other love, eventually they find there is a lot of differences between each other and leave each other eventually. Even if they love each other, even if they care for each other, they will end up hating and hurting each other eventually.
I do not want what people goes through what I have been through. I do not want to see my friends to be hurt. neither do I want to see a shadow of me in other people relationship. A few of my friends turn to me when they have problems, every time they concluded that I must have been in a good relationship after listening to me. Yet, I had remained single; I guess I annoyed people easily. However, for those people who is in love out there, this is what I want to say.
To guys. if you love a girl, give her constant attention. Call her frequently and take good care of her emotions, do not let her feel hurt. If she have any problems, just be patient and listen to her; even if you are unable to help in anything, just understand how she feels is good enough. If she is wants you to do something, do it for her because it is important to her.
To girls, spend a day to prepare a simple sandwich with effort, you would make him really happy, he would really appreciated what you have done. He may choose to do his own things at times, it is not because he doesn't love you as much as before. He just need break time to time constantly, give him some breathing space. He will come back to you eventually with surprises.
To singles, I would be very disappointed if you live your life for someone that is not worth it. Concentrate on the things you like and time will pass very quickly; before you knew it, you may have someone special giving you the constant attention you are looking for. Maybe the someone is right beside you now, watching over your secretly and hoping the best for your life.
Friday, September 11, 2009
110909
A day that probably mean a lot of things to me, a lot more for this entire life. It probably a deep down memory mark. A mark that will never be forgotten. A transition between 2 life. Time fly so quickly and my body had ages for 2 years old. Somehow or rather, this days seems that it would never come 2 years ago, but it come eventually.
The footsteps leaves a trail that tell a history of a string of unwanted experince. Some even painful till that it extend to my heart directly. There is so many friends being make, yet at the same times, a number of friends have strain away from me, and begun their own independent life. Something that leave a tinge of disappointment thinking back everyone agree about having eternal friendship. Something that reailty have taken its toll.
All these values are being learnt are a little too late, or is it that we met too early? Letting you bear the immature side of me for 2 months had always left a sense of guilt that brings on till today. Yet its the very same things that change me, because you exist. And for this and that is why the all this changes of me is being made for you, making the person me now and the person you know a year back a difference, but probably that isnt something you would bother now.
October 26 2008, evening time at the basement of the central. Probably why would this uncessary time and space deserve a mention. Because its the place that something that would always be remember in my heart. Its the first day we met, and the day where the sweet memories began and build on. You seems quiet and shy as always, while the poor me had actually keep struggling to chain a string of jokes to make you smile. But it was this unique character that you have that makes me unforgetable. Something grip on to my heart deeply, and that is your sweet constant beam on your face, thats make me want to be the someone special to take care of you.
The someone special was'nt me, it is someone else down in your future. He is probably someone who is able to wait for you and fetch you home everday, ensuring that you would always reach home safety. he is someone who would bring you out everytime you are feeling down. He bought you mango dessert because he know you had not eaten that dessert your like for a long time. He would probably even bring out to futher places to see much more beautiful scenery. And most importantly, he would visit you when you fell sick.
Today sunset was beautiful, maybe it is because the day where I leave the service and there is a plan long ago for the particular day. But this plan is just now as empty as words. It sort of remind me of the sunset that we both watch. You never said anything that day, but deep down I know you really like that sunset. Hope you are still keeping that photo of the scenery that day. It didnt really nail into my mind how the scenery will, because there is still so many sunset at so many different place that I wish to watch with you. Yet so unexpectedly, that would be the last that we watch together.
110909
Goodbye SAF
Goodbye to you
The footsteps leaves a trail that tell a history of a string of unwanted experince. Some even painful till that it extend to my heart directly. There is so many friends being make, yet at the same times, a number of friends have strain away from me, and begun their own independent life. Something that leave a tinge of disappointment thinking back everyone agree about having eternal friendship. Something that reailty have taken its toll.
All these values are being learnt are a little too late, or is it that we met too early? Letting you bear the immature side of me for 2 months had always left a sense of guilt that brings on till today. Yet its the very same things that change me, because you exist. And for this and that is why the all this changes of me is being made for you, making the person me now and the person you know a year back a difference, but probably that isnt something you would bother now.
October 26 2008, evening time at the basement of the central. Probably why would this uncessary time and space deserve a mention. Because its the place that something that would always be remember in my heart. Its the first day we met, and the day where the sweet memories began and build on. You seems quiet and shy as always, while the poor me had actually keep struggling to chain a string of jokes to make you smile. But it was this unique character that you have that makes me unforgetable. Something grip on to my heart deeply, and that is your sweet constant beam on your face, thats make me want to be the someone special to take care of you.
The someone special was'nt me, it is someone else down in your future. He is probably someone who is able to wait for you and fetch you home everday, ensuring that you would always reach home safety. he is someone who would bring you out everytime you are feeling down. He bought you mango dessert because he know you had not eaten that dessert your like for a long time. He would probably even bring out to futher places to see much more beautiful scenery. And most importantly, he would visit you when you fell sick.
Today sunset was beautiful, maybe it is because the day where I leave the service and there is a plan long ago for the particular day. But this plan is just now as empty as words. It sort of remind me of the sunset that we both watch. You never said anything that day, but deep down I know you really like that sunset. Hope you are still keeping that photo of the scenery that day. It didnt really nail into my mind how the scenery will, because there is still so many sunset at so many different place that I wish to watch with you. Yet so unexpectedly, that would be the last that we watch together.
110909
Goodbye SAF
Goodbye to you
Friday, August 14, 2009
A deep down dream
Imagine a family with 2 children, a wife who is would wait eagerly at home for her husband to come home. The family of 4 lives happily and and fill the house with smiles, love and laughter.
Though they do not earn much, they will able to make end meet and have fun pinics and outing once in while, this kind of warthmness in the family is always what I sought for.
Back to 1 year ago, life was at bottom pit. The life routine of mine was in a deep mess and it was practically flooded with sailing and duty every weekends. It had totally burn my brain juices and the mood to go out had plunge to litterally zero.
I would have leave this wreck place with no regrets if I had not met her. She is only person that bring back my smiles on the face. There is so many commitment that I had made within myself. She is a girl so good that I would not find another girl like her in my entire life.
I could blame on circumstances, I rather blame it on myself. A bad twist of luck, the ship routine changes drastically and I soon find myself sailing almost every day. Limmited amount of rest day had turn me to an emotionless person that do not even wish to step out of the house.
At this point of time, not only I lose you, the sailing days pile up and those friends of mine slowly loses contact from me. Best friends maybe become good friends, to normal aquintances and maybe... even strangers. Reflecting back them, the selfishness in me had totally bring to a guilt level that cause me to broke out in tears, realising those mistakes only when it is too late and could only be fill with noting more left but regrets.
If there is a portal to go back in time, definitely I would. It is not to because I do not want to lose you. It is not because I want to prevent it from happening. But to make more beautiful memories with you and to cherish you...
Sometimes questions would fly through my mind, why would'nt I be kinder to you while you are around with me.
Today, finally leaving this place in a month, the blocked mind seems to clear up, learning many principle of life in the process and even begining to know the feeling of cherishing someone.
Maybe you had already left me, but still there is still so much indebtness that is owe to you, leaving things just like this is not my style. I wishes to take up this reposibility again, of someone being good to you. It does not matter to me you do not acknowledge me as a friend. Because all I want to do is simply, to wish you all the best in your life, studies, dreams and maybe even finding the love of your life.
Be it 9 months, 9 years or 9 decades, but doing this to see you smile for just 9 second, would worth it.
Take Care,
Utsuki.....
Though they do not earn much, they will able to make end meet and have fun pinics and outing once in while, this kind of warthmness in the family is always what I sought for.
Back to 1 year ago, life was at bottom pit. The life routine of mine was in a deep mess and it was practically flooded with sailing and duty every weekends. It had totally burn my brain juices and the mood to go out had plunge to litterally zero.
I would have leave this wreck place with no regrets if I had not met her. She is only person that bring back my smiles on the face. There is so many commitment that I had made within myself. She is a girl so good that I would not find another girl like her in my entire life.
I could blame on circumstances, I rather blame it on myself. A bad twist of luck, the ship routine changes drastically and I soon find myself sailing almost every day. Limmited amount of rest day had turn me to an emotionless person that do not even wish to step out of the house.
At this point of time, not only I lose you, the sailing days pile up and those friends of mine slowly loses contact from me. Best friends maybe become good friends, to normal aquintances and maybe... even strangers. Reflecting back them, the selfishness in me had totally bring to a guilt level that cause me to broke out in tears, realising those mistakes only when it is too late and could only be fill with noting more left but regrets.
If there is a portal to go back in time, definitely I would. It is not to because I do not want to lose you. It is not because I want to prevent it from happening. But to make more beautiful memories with you and to cherish you...
Sometimes questions would fly through my mind, why would'nt I be kinder to you while you are around with me.
Today, finally leaving this place in a month, the blocked mind seems to clear up, learning many principle of life in the process and even begining to know the feeling of cherishing someone.
Maybe you had already left me, but still there is still so much indebtness that is owe to you, leaving things just like this is not my style. I wishes to take up this reposibility again, of someone being good to you. It does not matter to me you do not acknowledge me as a friend. Because all I want to do is simply, to wish you all the best in your life, studies, dreams and maybe even finding the love of your life.
Be it 9 months, 9 years or 9 decades, but doing this to see you smile for just 9 second, would worth it.
Take Care,
Utsuki.....
Thursday, August 13, 2009
www.gmxl.com
I cant believe he wish me happy birthday.....
I only read it now....
Thank you you this (insert vuglar) ah beng brother....
2 years already, so much things have change i cant believe I litterally cant use any vuglar language.
I really cant believe this GPA 1.94 ah bend ended studying in a university.
Good luck and enjoy studying, for me I believe I will take a different path....
I cant believe he wish me happy birthday.....
I only read it now....
Thank you you this (insert vuglar) ah beng brother....
2 years already, so much things have change i cant believe I litterally cant use any vuglar language.
I really cant believe this GPA 1.94 ah bend ended studying in a university.
Good luck and enjoy studying, for me I believe I will take a different path....
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